‘9 to 5: The Musical’ (Hart): “Now be a good girl and get my coffee”
A comedic male monologue from the musical, ‘9 to 5’
30's
‘Matilda, The Musical’ (Mr. Wormwood): “I want my family to share of my triumph”
A comedic male monologue from the Broadway musical, Matilda
‘In & Out’ (Emily): “I lost 75 pounds! You say you’re sorry?”
A comedic female monologue from the film, In & Out
‘Election’: Jim Convinces Paul to Run for Class President
Jim’s (Matthew Broderick) comedic one minute monologue from the Alexander Payne movie, Election.
‘Election’ (Jim): “You’re a very intelligent girl, Tracy”
Jim (Matthew Broderick) confronts Tracy (Reese Witherspoon) about “certain indiscretions” in this monologue from the film, Election.
‘Election’ (Dave): “It seems like you might need a friend”
A one minute monologue for men from the Reese Witherspoon movie, Election. Dave, the teacher, tries to help Tracy.
‘Adventureland’ (Tired-Looking Guy): “If you have half a brain, the job’s easy”
A one minute comedic male monologue from the movie, Adventureland.
‘Paper Moon’ (Moze): “Now all the passengers are lookin’ on wonderin’”
“Now all the passengers are lookin’ on wonderin’ what’s goin’ on, see?”
‘Paper Moon’ (Moze): “How’d you like to do a little business with me?”
“Don’t you go makin’ no decisions. I’ll make the decisions.”
‘Paper Moon’ (Moze): “Who got ya a Nehi and a Coney Island?”
“You don’t have no appreciation, that’s the trouble with you.”
‘The Shape of Water’ (Strickland): “That story about Samson. I never told you how it ends…”
“Samson asks God for the strength he needs- and at the last minute- he is spared.”
‘The Shape of Water’ (Strickland): “Bet I can make you squawk a little”
“When you say you’re mute… Are you entirely silent?”
‘The Shape of Water’ (Zelda): “I found a turtle sitting out in the middle of the road”
“So, I picked it up, took it to a pond way back behind my house…”
‘The Shape of Water’ (Zelda): “There’s pee freckles on the ceiling!!”
“But if farts were flattery, honey – he would be Shakespeare.”
‘Three Kings’ (Archie Gates): “Do you know anything about gunshot wounds?”
“What makes any gunshot wound bad, provided you survive the bullet, is something called sepsis.”
‘Eight Millimeter’ (Welles): “What you’re talking about is a ‘snuff film'”
“It’s probably something your husband was given as a bad joke.”
‘Shows for Days’ (Car): “How much of my time is spent in rehearsal rooms”
“I could barely hear her over the tap dancing.”
‘Shows for Days’ (Car): “And thus began the best summer of my life”
“I think it’s safe to say my life would have turned out differently if I had played sports as a child.”