Monologues from Plays

‘You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown’ (Sally): “I got a ‘C’ on my coat hanger sculpture?”

“The squeaky wheel gets the grease!”

“Can’t someone fall in love with a girl who isn’t cute, and has freckles and a big nose?”

“When I grow up I’m going to be the biggest queen there ever was…”

“Now, this is what you call a Failure Face, Linus.”

“It’s always a whole pack of wolves that bring the fawn down.”

“This is destiny pissing on your leg. What do you wanna do about it?”

“Do you know what it’s like to have a twin?”

“I wanted to kill Zackery, not myself ‘cause I__ I wanted to live!”

“I came to live with you because I loved you. I stayed with you because I loved you.”

If you knew me better, you’d see that this is exactly the kind of thing that’s likely to happen to me. Getting knocked up, I mean.

“Say mind if I use your phone? Figure I better check on the kids. No telling what devilment they’ve gotten up to.”

“First I was a tomboy. I used to climb trees and beat up my brother Tom.”

A comedic monologue from the play, ALMOST, MAINE, by John Cariani

“Hey! I’m looking around. I gotta get used to things. I’m not ready to sit. I’m too nervous to sit.”

“I don’t know if I really want to marry Walter.”

“You’re too perfect and you’re too imperfect.”

“Anyway it’s not just the sex. It’s that…this guy knows me.”

“I’m very attractive. I am. I’ve always been that way but it’s no great big deal to me—if anything, it’s worked against me for most of my life.”

“In the dream I’m drowning. But I don’t know it at first. At first I hear water and I imagine it’s going to be a lovely dream.”

“No, I don’t. I hate it. Actually, do you want to know what I really hate?”