‘Recent Tragic Events’ (Waverly)

WAVERLY: Do you know what it’s like to have a twin? No you don’t.  Because it’s really different from not having one.  It’s so much different and better, you can’t even imagine! And if something’s happened to her … you don’t know, I’m totally screwed.   Because it’s really different from not having one.  It’s so much different and better, you can’t even imagine!  And if something’s happened to her … you don’t know, I’m totally screwed.  Because all my life there have been parts of myself I ’t looked at, and things I wanted to do I haven’t done, because I knew that Wendy would do them?  So I never had to be wild, I never had to go nuts and be put away in some hospital, I never had to do those things because I knew she would do them, and then she and I would hook up again and we’d stay and talk and it would all be integrated, we’d be a whole person together.  She’s my twin.  So I went to college while she went to Europe, and I’ve always had my s— together and she’s always been a wreck, and I go into this office every day with cubicles and jerk guys – “Smile! Smile!” – and stupid campaigns and stupid clients, people calling me at seven at night just as I’m finally getting out of , calling from L.A. to tell me the ad for the rebroadcast of some movie on the USA network just isn’t exactly what they were hoping for, and so I put down my bag and I sit down and call the poor stupid writer at and try to make it work.  And if Ron calls me and he needs something, I try to make it work. I spend all day every day trying to make it work, for everyone! And sometimes I do get a little mad and think, why can’t I be the one who’s a mess and has all the fun?  But I don’t know what I’ll do if she isn’t around, you know? I don’t know what I’ll do.

More Monologues from ‘Recent Tragic Events’

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