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‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’ (Jacob): “So now I’m going to ask if I can buy you another drink”

“I find you incredibly sexy. It’s a fact, not a cheesy pick-up line.”

“I miss you, T. I got complacent, I think”

“Four days ago… I lost a major American shoe company… well you could round it off to one billion dollars.”

“You’re a better guy than this. I can see it in your eyes.”

“I’ve been picked on, wedgied, ridiculed, upper-decked, and cyberbullied by elected officials.”

“It’s not at all like me and Nikki”

“I just can’t believe Nikki’s teaching that book to the kids.”

“So, listen, I’m sorry that I didn’t come see you down at the hospital.”

“That was the first girl I ever kissed. Rivkah was the first girl I ever got up in the morning thinking about”

“You keep saying that like it means something. You still don’t get it. The Quran is about tribal life in a seventh-century desert, Isaac.”

“Sarah, the truth is, it’s going to be a long rehabilitation. It could take six months … it could take six years.”

“Forget it. I’m free now, right? I could meet the love of my life any second now.”

“Son, I wanted to talk to you about what I think you were trying to do the other day.”

“Hey, Warren, how do you feel about these young punks taking over our jobs?”

“My mom came and got me the next day to pick me up. I never talked to Aunt Denise again.”

“Well obviously I can’t take this. I mean, I didn’t do it for the money anyway…”

“I mean look, we’ve all been lulled into a false sense of security, me included.”

“I focused all my energy on destroying you so I could free myself from your relentless heartless indifference.”

“I can be the change I want to see. That one from a bumper sticker on her Volkswagen Jetta.”

“I’m gonna give you the short version of an incredibly complicated and f*cked up situation, so please be cool.”