‘The Fault in Our Stars’ (Isaac): “Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral”

The Fault In Our Stars Isaac Monologue

‘The Fault in Our Stars’ by Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber

From: Movie

Type: Dramedy

Character: Isaac

Gender: Male

Age Range: Late Teens

Summary: Isaac gives Gus, who is still alive, his eulogy.

More: Watch the movie | Read the Book

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ISAAC: “Augustus Waters was a cocky son of a b—. But we forgive him. We forgive him… not because he had a heart as good as his real one sucked, or because of his superhuman handsomeness… Or because he got 18 years when he should have gotten more.” I’m assuming you’ve got some time, you interrupting b—! I mean seriously… (back to the speech) “Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious. Sweet Jesus I never understood a word out of that kid’s mouth. I mean who talks like that?!

“But I will say this: when the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to piss off, because I don’t even want to see a world without Augustus Waters. And then, of course, having made my point, I will put my robot eyes on because, I mean… robot eyes! So anyway, Augustus, my friend… Godspeed.” God d— it, Gus.

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