‘Mean Girls, the Musical’ (Regina): “You know I died for fifteen seconds, right?”

REGINA: I’m going to forgive you. Because I’m on a lot of pain medication right now.  You know I died for fifteen seconds, right? Spoiler alert: heaven looks like a really nice hotel in Miami. When I woke up in the street, all I could see was my mom’s face and Gretchen’s big face looking down at me. And they looked so surprised. Not even sad, just like, surprised that I could be bleeding. Like they forgot I was a human person. I’ve actually been a human person this whole time. I know I was harsh. And people say I’m a b—. But you know what they would call me if I was a boy? “Reginald”. That’s what my mom was gonna name me if I was a boy, so honestly I’d rather be “b—”.

More Monologues from ‘Mean Girls’