‘Clueless’ (Cher): “As someone who’s older can I give you some advice?”

CHER: My birthday’s in April. As someone who’s older can I give you some advice? I mean, I don’t want to sound all judgmental and all, but it’s one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, it’s quite another to be fried at school all day. The loadies generally hang in the stairwell over there. Sometimes they get to class and say bonehead things and we all laugh of course. But no respectable girl actually dates them. I don’t mean to be harsh, but you don’t want to start off on the wrong foot, do you? That’s Alana’s group over there. They all do the T.V. station and they think that’s the most important thing on earth… our school has its own channel throughout Beverly Hills… You like working on T.V. stations? Then forget them, they just hang by themselves… There’s the “Persian Mafia”, you can’t hang with them unless you own a B.M.W… And there’s the “Crew”. The choicest males at our school. If you make the decision to date a high school boy, those are the only acceptable ones. Hey, I’ve got a great idea! Let’s do a makeover!

More Monologues from ‘Clueless’

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