MISS MINCHIN: Would the Times print it if it weren’t true? Word has reached London of Captain Crewe’s treason against Her Majesty’s Government. Your father abandoned his trek to Timbuktu in order to lead a slave caravan to the coast. A feverish demise put a stop to his treachery. We are all disappointed by our fathers eventually; the sooner the better. Second only to his villainy to the Queen, I think, was his negligence in dying intestate. Once the case is taken to Chancery Court you won’t see a penny for years. He left no will! As the Government has now secured his estate, you have nothing – no relations, no home – you are an orphan, and a beggar! Do you think I toy with you, girl? Look at this party. Do you know who paid for it? I did! Do you know when your father will repay me? Never! Do you know what happened to the Timbuktu corporation? It has collapsed, my shares are worthless, and my savings gone!