When I saw the trailer for Taylor Lautner‘s new film, Abduction, I pretty much knew that I would save an hour and a half of my life by not seeing it. The film came out this weekend and the reviews were not pretty – it only got 3% on Rotten Tomatoes.
I’m not a teenage girl so the only thing I’ve ever seen Lautner in was the first Twilight film and I thought he was just ok. I’ve seen him in clips from the other Twilight films and thought he was…. in the clips that I watched.
Anyway, the New York Times Steven Holden reviewed not only Abduction but Lautner’s looks and acting ability. And he was not kind.
To give Mr. Lautner his due, he is a martial-arts dervish with perfectly sculptured abs. His acting, however, is another matter. I can’t recall another teenage star so opaque. If his physiognomy — recessed eyes that don’t seem to focus, a wide snub nose and Elvis-y lips — conjure Neanderthal manhood after a cosmetic makeover, his boyish monotone with its utter lack of inflection suggests that he is really an advanced robot simulating human speech without registering emotion or even comprehension.
You should read the whole review because it’s hilarious. I will say this though, it kinda makes me want to see it now.
Hopefully he can take his millions and get an acting coach for his next film.