MS. NORBURY: Regina George. Every girl here is afraid of you. I’m afraid of you half the time. But I’ve met girls like you before and I can tell you, if you don’t change your life, you’re about ten years away from being a divorced Real Estate agent with chipped nail tips.
And don’t think Regina is the meanest girl in this school. I have never met anybody as mean as Jessica Lopez. I’ve seen Jessica Lopez make a girl cry just by looking at her. Do it, Jessica.
You guys wear your tiny little t-shirts that say “Princess” and “Diva” and you act like you’ve got it all under control, but I know you’re freaking out inside. You feel like everybody else has some kind of secret guidebook on how to be perfect and cute and you’re just a goon. That’s cause you’re still changing. Not everybody looks their best at 15. (to an awkward girl) Annika. You’re gonna hit your peak in five years. (to another awkward girl) Emily, it’s all gonna happen for you in your thirties. You’re gonna be, like – (sexy voice) “I teach yoga in Los Angeles”
Karen, you are at your peak right now. Take a lot of pictures. Wear your bathing suit whenever possible. This is it for you.
More Monologues from Mean Girls:
‘Mean Girls’ (Gretchen): “I mean, if you even knew how mean she really is”
‘Mean Girls’ (Gretchen): “We only wear jeans or track pants on Friday”
‘Mean Girls’ (Regina): “Why were you talking to Janis Ian?”