‘It’s Only a Play’ (Virginia)

‘It’s Only a Play’ by Terrence McNally

From: Play

Type: Dramatic

Character: Virginia Noyes

Gender: Female

Age Range: 30's | 40's | 50's | 60's

Summary: Virginia, the star of the fictional play, complains about her agent

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Virginia: They ain’t doing anything. They tried that number on me out in Hollywood. “You’re only as good as your last picture.” My agent told me. “Bulls***,” I told him. “Nothing’s as bad as my last three pictures but especially me. Just get me a job.” “Ginny, I can’t get you arrested. Cool out for a couple of years. Get married again.” Me, Miss Two-Time Tony Award Winner! Miss Hot S*** Herself! They wouldn’t touch me with a twenty-foot pole.

And people wonder why I bottomed out? It took seeing my face on the front page of the National Enquirer after marriage Number Three ended for it to suddenly hit me: what am I doing out there? Standing in the check-out line at the Arrow Market on Santa Monica wearing a dirty bathrobe and nothing else, that’s where I remembered who I was! An actress, a f****** stage actress. Two days later, I packed everything I owned into my little red Mustang and burned rubber straight back to New York.

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