Martin: Listen to me. I just, I have a little speech that’s building here.
Now, I know you look at me and you see a bad man with a big beard. Fine. I tried to kiss your sister on her birthday. Fine! I mix up birthdays and I have an alcohol problem just like everyone else in this f*****g country, but I am here and I do things. I pick up Jake from s**t. I make dessert for Easter. I organized the downstairs toilet. I fired the humming cleaner. I hoovered the car. I put up all your certificates and I don’t make you feel guilty for not having sex with me.
I am not a bad guy! I just have a bad personality. It’s not my fault. Some people are born with f****d personalities. Look at Jake. He is so creepy. It’s not his fault! Why the bassoon? You want to know what the bassoon is!? It’s a cry for help!
The main f*****g problem here is that you don’t like me. And that has been breaking my f*****g heart for 11 years. I love you. I make you laugh. I’m a douche, but I make you laugh. You said that that was the most important thing!
I think the thing that you hate the most about yourself is that you actually love me. So, I am not going to leave you until you are down on your knees begging me.
Oh man… I didn’t think you’d do that in that dress. Right. Well, I guess the only thing left for me to say is… F**k you.
From FLEABAG, Season 2 Episode 6