‘Easy A’ (Olive): “Forgive me, father, for I have sinned”

EASY A by Bert V. Royal

From: Movie

Type: Comedic

Character: Olive Penderghast, a high school student who has lied about losing her virginity to a college boy.

Gender: Female

Age Range: Late Teens

Summary: Olive sits in a confessional booth and lays out (most of) her sins.

More: Watch the Movie

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OLIVE: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I think that’s how you’re supposed to start these things. I’m only going on what I’ve seen in the movies. Then I think I’m supposed to tell you how long it’s been since my last confession. But that’s kind of my first confession. I’m not Catholic. I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do, except sit here and tell you what I’ve done wrong.  So here goes. (then) I’ve been pretending to be a– how would one phrase it in Catholic words? A harlot. It’s not like I’ve actually been doing the things that people are saying I’m doing, but then again, I’m not denying them, so I’ve just been wondering: is that wrong? There’s a lot of bad stuff going down at my school which may or may not be indirectly because of this masquerade. (then) I’m lying.  You caught me. I may have caused the end of a marriage. In my own perverse way, I thought I could help it.  In my defense, I might talk like an adult but I am merely an adolescent.  I should never have even been propositioned in the way I was propositioned by an adult.  But then again, I should never have consented. It was just that a lot of people had been asking me to do things and I thought it was okay, because it wasn’t real. It was make-believe and no one was getting hurt. But a lot of people hate me now.  I kind of hate me, too.

There’s a long silence.  Olive tears up and wipes them away.

I could be wrong, but aren’t you supposed to say something or ask me questions?  Tell me to say ten Hail Mary’s, pay a fine, advance token to nearest Railroad?  Hello?

She peers through the screen.  There’s no one there. 

Oh, f— me!

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