‘Easy A’ (Brandon): “Olive, you don’t understand how hard it is”

BRANDON: Think about it.  We can help each other out.  You want to maintain this floozy facade, I don’t want to get my face pummeled in every day.  It’s win-win-win-win. All it would take is one good imaginary bonk and you’d be saving the bone structure of my face.  Think of how happy my parents would be.

Come on, it wouldn’t have to be a bonk. It could be an imaginary nutter or a lemon squeeze or a cowbell… Dealer’s choice. I’ll pay you. I can pay you whatever you want. I insist. I can make it work. I promise.

Olive, you don’t understand how hard it is. I’m tormented. Every day at that high school is like I’m being suffocated.  And we can fantasize all we want about how things are going to be different one day, but this is today.  And it sucks. And there’s only one way out and you were smart enough to think of it.  Please. Help me. I can’t take another day of this. I don’t know what the f— I’ll do.

More Monologues from ‘Easy A’

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