‘Dentity Crisis’ (Edith)

'Dentity Crisis' by Christopher Durang

From: Play

Type: Dramedy

Character: Edith, Jane's mother, who claims she's the inventor of cheese

Gender: Female

Age Range: 40's | 50's

Summary: Edith, absent minded and caring, comes back to greet Jane.

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EDITH: Hello, dear, I’m back. Did you miss me? Say yes. (Pause.) Of course you missed me. A daughter always misses her mother. You’re less depressed today, aren’t you? I can tell. (Puts bag down.) I got your dress back. I’m afraid the stains didn’t come out. You should have heard the lady at the cleaners. What did she do, slash her thighs with a razor blade? she said. I had to admit you had.

Really, dear, I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. It was so awful when your father and I went into the bathroom together to brush our teeth and saw you perched up on the toilet, your pretty white dress over your father had ever seen your thighs before, and I hope he never will again, at least not under those unpleasant conditions.

I mean, what could have possessed you? No one in our family has ever attempted suicide before now, and no one since either. It’s a sign of defeat, and no one should do it. You know what I think? Jane? Jane?

I don’t think you ever attempted suicide at all. That’s what I think.

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