‘Can’t Hardly Wait’ (Trip McNeely): “Guys like us are a dime a dozen”

TRIP McNEELY: Seriously. Hey man, I thought college was gonna be the AM/PM of p—. I thought I‘d be writin’ more true—life letters to “Hustler” than I would term papers. Hell, that’s even why I broke up with Janine before I left. College women are totally different, bro. They‘re all serious and s—, talking about world issues and economogical stuff. And they all wanna date older guys. Hell, I even tried getting Janine to take me back… but she’s all cozy with some Senior. He’s pre-med. They all are. Guys like us are a dime a dozen… (drinks) I‘m tellin’ ya, look out for that scrawny four-eyed kid who’s ass you used to kick just for fun. In three years he’ll be bangin‘ your girlfriend. Hey speakin’ of which, you still with that Amanda? Now there was a prize piece if I ever saw one. You’re lucky. Hold on to her, man. Best advice I can give. That, and bring those rubber flip-flops for the shower.

More Monologues from ‘Can’t Hardly Wait’

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