‘Can’t Hardly Wait’ (Kenny): “I am a finesse player, you know whatum sayin’?”

KENNY: I’ve got to have s— tonight. I mean, peep this. 92 percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. 92 percent! I figure since the whole class is going to the party, I should give all ladies an equal chance – you know whatuhm sayin’? It took me all day jus’ to narrow it down to a list of ten finalists. I got a sophisticated ratings scale including Looks, Body, Reputation, Might-Owe-Me-A-Favor…

Check this —— I am a finesse player, you know whatum sayin’? I am gonna Barry White my way into a woman’s heart. Observe – the Loooove Kit… (he pulls out a pink candle) That is a “Smell of Love“ scented candle, bitch. And if either of you knew anything at all about seduction, you’d know that women go wild for little romantic gestures, such as scented candles.

More Monologues from ‘Can’t Hardly Wait’

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