’30 Minutes or Less’ (Nick)

30 Minutes or Less Monologue

'30 Minutes or Less' by Michael Diliberti & Matthew Sullivan

From: Movie

Type: Comedic

Character: Nick, "probably good looking in another life."

Gender: Male

Age Range: 20's

Summary: Nick is a pizza deliverer who lives a fairly ordinary, boring life -- until he crosses paths with two aspiring criminal masterminds, who kidnap him, strap a bomb to his chest and force him to rob a bank for them.

More: Watch the Movie

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NICK: Stop! Just don’t come any closer. I’m gonna give you the short version of an incredibly complicated and f— up situation, so please be cool. (beat) Some very bad guys strapped a bomb to my chest and they are forcing me to commit a crime. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. I know it’s a lot to swallow, but you gotta take it on face value, because there’s a timer attached to this thing and it’s counting down. I didn’t come here for help. I’m taking care of it. I came here because, should things not work out today as I would like them to, I want you to know why I was doing the things I did. (struggling) Do you remember when you found that picture in my car of you, me and Chet, with Chet cut out of it? I need you to remember about the picture, and about how I stop by your office every Friday, and how I’ve always hated all your boyfriends, and how the two girls I’ve ever seriously dated have looked like less attractive versions of you. Do you see where I’m going with this? I love you Kate. I have for a very long time.

I’m sorry to do this to you, but I was afraid I’d never get the chance to tell you. And I know you have feelings for me, too. Maybe you feel for me the way you feel for a good friend, or – if the world f— hates me – a brother. But what I hope is that you don’t really know how you feel for me, and that maybe when you figure it out you’ll realize it’s the same way I feel for you. Does that make any sense?

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