‘The (curious case of the) Watson Intelligence’ (Eliza and the Learning Curve)

The (curious case of the) Watson Intelligence Monologue

‘The (curious case of the) Watson Intelligence’ by Madeleine George


From: Play
Type: Dramedy

Character: Eliza, a computer programmerworking for a start-up
Gender: Female
Age Range: 30's

Summary: Watson: trusty sidekick to Sherlock Holmes; loyal engineer who built Bell's first telephone; unstoppable super-computer that became reigning Jeopardy! champ; amiable techno-dweeb who, in the present day, is just looking for love. These four constant companions become one in this brilliantly witty, time-jumping, loving tribute (and cautionary tale) dedicated to the people-and machines-upon which we all depend.

More: Buy the Play

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ELIZA : Anyway it’s not just the sex. It’s that…this guy knows me. And his learning curve is insane, I mean, I’ve only been with him a few times and he already knows things about me I didn’t even know about myself. Like, the third time he came over he brought me an LED color changing showerhead, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the technology? You screw it in and it turns your shower into a wet and wild disco, or that’s how he described it when he was standing there in my bathtub installing it without even asking my permission. It’s actually a pretty ingenious little piece of engineering, and it turns out you can have a pretty great time in there if you turn off the lights and–anyway the point is, this is not an item I would ever, ever have brought into my home, and how did he know? That I would actually love a wet and wild disco shower? It’s some kind of crazy predictive algorithm he’s running–not just mirroring, it’s enhanced, somehow. It’s way more sophisticated than anything you can do, buddy, no offense.

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