Robbie: You want to talk about The Scarlet Letter, Mrs. Thompson? Here you go: the ‘A’ they’re both wearing — I think it stands for ASSHOLE. Wanna know why? Because they’re in love, and love is for stupid ASSHOLES. So thanks for choosing this book, Mrs. Thompson, because this is what I need right now: to read a boring, confusing book about a bunch of stupid assholes who fell in love, like assholes, and then had to die, like assholes. I’m sorry for cursing.