‘Three Kings’ (Archie Gates): “Do you know anything about gunshot wounds?”

"What makes any gunshot wound bad, provided you survive the bullet, is something called sepsis."

‘Eight Millimeter’ (Welles): “What you’re talking about is a ‘snuff film.'”

"It's probably something your husband was given as a bad joke."

‘Shows for Days’ (Irene): “I tell you, it’s never one thing”

"It’s always a whole pack of wolves that bring the fawn down."

‘Shows for Days’ (Irene): “I was a good wife till I couldn’t stand it”

"This is destiny pissing on your leg. What do you wanna do about it?"

‘Shows for Days’ (Car): “And thus began the best summer of my life”

"I think it’s safe to say my life would have turned out differently if I had played sports as a child."

‘Recent Tragic Events’ (Waverly)

"Do you know what it’s like to have a twin?"

‘Recent Tragic Events’ (Ron): “He’s a fireman, you know what I’m saying?”

"This morning I was watching TV and Katie Couric was interviewing this fireman."

‘Recent Tragic Events’ (Ron): “Do you hear that?”

"I don’t believe in God, per se… but prayer is still kinda cool"

‘500 Days of Summer’ (Tom): “I say to hell with it!”

"If someone gave me this card, Mr. Vance ... I would eat it."