‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’ (Jacob): “So now I’m going to ask if I can buy you another drink”

monologues from the film, Crazy, Stupid, Love

‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’ by Dan Fogelman

From: Movie

Type: Dramedy

Character: Jacob Palmer, the "smoothest, coolest son-of-a-bitch you’ve ever seen."

Gender: Male

Age Range: 30's

Summary: Fortysomething Cal Weaver has the perfect life...until his wife Emily asks for a divorce. Now Cal has to navigate the single scene, but his heart keeps leading him back to where he began.

More: Watch the movie

Click Here to Download the Monologue

JACOB: I find you incredibly sexy.  It’s a fact, not a cheesy pick-up line.  There are many attractive women in this bar — including your friend here — and I’ve been unable to take my eyes off you, only you, for the past two hours.  Again: not a cheesy pick-up line, just a fact. (then) Answer this quickly, without thinking about your answer:  do you find me attractive?

Yes you do. I’m an accomplished lover.  If you come home with me, I am confident you will leave satisfied.  Multiple times. We’ll make love and it will be amazing.  You’ll laugh afterwards and say ‘I never do this kind of thing.’  Then you’ll do it again.

So now I’m going to ask if I can buy you another drink.  If you say yes, we’ll have one more cocktail each — just enough to start losing inhibitions, not enough to get sloppy, after all: I promised to satisfy you. So, here we go, Hannah:  can I buy you a drink?

More Monologues from ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’

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