Pin It

Awakened And Realizing Part Of Your Life Has Been Asleep

Written by Anthony Meindl

Someone on Twitter recently posted to me after reading one of my blogs, “Unleashing that creative side after years of being bound by boringness is a beautiful thing.”

Not only is it a beautiful thing, but once the feeling floodgates are open, we begin to realize how much of our life we’ve spent half asleep.

A creative process that opens us up to feeling and really having a rich inner emotional life of being alive also, simultaneously, makes us realize how much we’ve been disconnected from those parts of ourselves in our own life.

In many ways, it’s like being reborn.

That can be scary because it feels as if we’ve let the Halloween cat out of the bag and we can’t stuff her back in there. Meow! Claws and fangs and all. Ouch.

All sorts of feelings start to rise to the surface of our consciousness and we become acutely aware of how much we’ve been turning feeling off. We’ve been living but not thriving. So what happens in this discovery? Well, all shit hits the fan, of course.

We might throw dishes. Crash! We might make a scene. In public! We might cry for a week. “What’s happening to me?” We might feel as if we’re completely unmoored. But this is just in the short-term of releasing (sometimes years of) pent-up feeling. Sometimes we shut our feeling-selves down because of our own inner restraints. Our self-judgments tell us that it’s going to be “too much” or “too messy.” Sometimes it’s because of what we’ve been taught; that if we let go emotionally of what’s really going on for us, we’ll be punished or rejected or abandoned.

Life isn’t about numbing ourselves off and dumbing ourselves down; it’s not about anesthetizing ourselves so that other people feel OK around us. We’re feeling beings. We’re meant to feel. We have to stop editing ourselves because other people don’t know how to process feeling.

Part of our responsibility as artists is to feel so that we can show other people the way.

And as we begin to do so more consciously, we also become aware of how we often expend a great deal of energy and time on relationships and experiences that support our pseudo-self identities. You know the ones. The ones that make us think we’re not good enough or deserving or worthy or fantastic.

So we seek out relationships that confirm our false beliefs that things have to be “crazy,” or “destructive,” or “dramatic,” because, at a subconscious level, that’s what we believe we deserve.

A student said to me that she was scared that if she let go of all the drama in her life – specifically in her relationship – her life would be boring. The irony is that because she’s so wrapped up in the false feelings her experience evokes (if it’s a distraction it’s a false feeling) – she’s preventing herself from feeling deeper connection and authentic feeling that come from letting go of the people and circumstances that fuel our old, pseudo-self patterns.

So we mistake the drama and craziness and co-dependence and unfulfillment for real love. We think that if we give up these distractions, our lives will be this grey area of boring blandness.

But on the contrary the opposite is true. We realize how often we let these previous distractions keep us from getting on with our real lives and as we begin to live more fully in our authentic selves, a deeper level of communicating and sharing begins to take the place of the superficial levels we were existing at.

Drama turns into real, exciting, romantic passion.

Craziness turns into fun and laughter and joy and communion.

Codependence turns into intimacy and support and respect and freedom.

Unfulfillment turns into appreciation and fullness and contentment.

All experiences in life are here to spur us on to our next level of awareness. Of discovery. Of realization. At a deep, core level, we already know the answers to things we ask ourselves.

The question is . . . are we brave enough to listen to the truth and then move in the direction of that knowing?

Truly, the cat must then come out of the bag.

No tricks, however. Only immeasurable treats. And no longer living a life “bound by boringness.”

 

Anthony Meindl is an award-winning writer, producer, director and actor whose first feature screenplay, THE WONDER GIRLS, was the Grand Prize Winning Feature Screenplay in the Slamdance Film Festival Screenplay Competition in 2007. Prior to this accomplishment, Meindl was responsible for the production of an array of award-winning projects. His background in acting, training, and performance has afforded him the opportunity to create what has become a thriving artist community in Los Angeles.

Check out Anthony’s book, At Left Brain, Right Turn

1 Comment

  1. Ram

    January 5, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    A very inspirational article. I’m currently at School in London and I run a talent advice & entertainment blog.
    Its a platform to help talented individuals within my city realise their passion to become an musician or actor. I will be writing weekly blogs on providing advice on getting started.

    Your article and website is awesome and I’ll be writing about you in my blog.

Leave a Reply

Latest Videos

http://www.dailyactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/watch-ron-perlman-on-his-fathers.jpg
Watch: Ron Perlman on His Father’s Influence on His Early Career
Ron Perlman is a prolific actor, and he has also lent his distinctive voice to a number of projects in film and television — including the new animated film The Book of Life. One of the reasons that Perlman works so hard is not only because he loves being an actor, but because of what […]
http://www.dailyactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/cate-blanchett-asks-graduating-s.jpg
Cate Blanchett Asks Graduating Students a Heavy Question: “What the hell can you do with an arts degree?”
“What the hell can you do with an arts degree?” Many actors ask themselves that when they find themselves struggling to make it in Hollywood while saddled with student loans. It was Cate Blanchett who posed that question recently to graduating students at Macquarie University in Sydney where she received an honorary doctorate degree. The […]
http://www.dailyactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/matthew-mcconaughey-rallies-his.jpg
Matthew McConaughey Rallies his Alma Mater Football Team to Victory with the ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ Chant
Oscar winner Matthew McConaughey delivered a different kind of speech two weeks ago when he spoke with the Texas Longhorns football team after their close 20-17 loss to UCLA. The moment was a bit odd, but hilarious at the same time. Coach Charlie Strong was the one who invited the Dallas Buyers Club star to inspire the […]
http://www.dailyactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/watch-anna-gunn-reveals-her-awkw.jpg
Watch: Anna Gunn Reveals Her Awkward ‘Breaking Bad’ Audition Details
Though Breaking Bad was obviously a career highpoint for every actor involved, they all must move on to their next projects (except for the few who are involved in the Breaking Bad spinoff, Better Call Saul). This includes Anna Gunn, who portrayed Walter White’s wife Skyler on the award-winning series series. Gunn’s new series, the […]
http://www.dailyactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/watch-conversations-with-maggie.jpg
Watch: Conversations with Maggie Q and Dylan McDermott of New CBS Series ‘Stalker’
Both Maggie Q and Dylan McDermott are TV veterans, with Q recently starring in Nikita and McDermott recently starring in both American Horror Story and Hostages. This season both star as the leads of Stalker, a drama series on CBS about LAPD detectives who specialize in crimes that have to do with stalking. In a […]